PV’11 – Friday morning

Sitting here in my favorite dawn of the year, seeing that the cross has been freshly repainted, I wonder how it’s all going to turn out. Not in the grand, world-sweeping sense, but us. Me.

Last night Connie & I prayed over each other, & I said we’d always be together even if we’re not together. I’ve always treasured my REACh relationships dearly, but I’d never realized how much chemistry cvan & I have until last night: Melissa asked us if we’d grown up together, & we had to say no.

I’m going to miss her when we’re no longer together.

I woke up fine this morning, but my eyes grow heavy now. Lord give me strength & energy for a full day.

Cabin time last night was really good. The girls were all able to/comfortable with saying something about their personal reasons for being here & some past or recent struggle in their Christian life.


I trepidate this week a little.

I’m still struggling with giving up Mexico, & it’s almost like everything leads me back to it. We sang “Blessed Be Your Name” & “Filled With Your Glory”: “though there’s pain in the offering” & “the whole earth” just PREACHED to me. There is pain indeed in this offering, but let Your praise be my song, because every point on this earth is Yours–not just, not specially, Maneadero. You’ve given me a place that is calling my name.

Also, my girls are from two churches–neither of which is home to even one of us three counselors. We all just met last night. I’m learning names & backstories while trying to lead, advise, guide, serve…

I asked God to show me where I, in lieu of Mexico, am now to be working; to grow me as a leader; to prepare me for MOC leading. I asked Him to break my expectations & show me the new wonders He has planned for me. I asked God to challenge me.

He’s shoved me into Pine Valley with a resounding YES MY CHILD. GO, DAUGHTER.

God, You’re such a comedian.


There are several crows (ravens? blackbirds? black birds.) flapping around here this morning. Not my favorite: loud & raucous, I could barely note others’ more pleasant chirping song between their croaking calls.

I found myself thinking, “what are these rowdy things doing in my morning? no one wants to listen to their harsh voices.” and BAM. A still, small voice said, “hey. how human of you is that.”

How often do we resent, ignore, & diminish those voices that speak loudly, harshly, jarringly into our lives!


That is all, today. I must be off this rock to my cabin & my girls.


About xkawai

I write to find out what I'm thinking.
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